An Explosive Week in Guatemala

Kim and I spent a week in Guatemala, very much in adventure tourist mode.

Bryan J. Rollins
6 min readAug 10, 2024
These pesky volcanos keep photo bombing all our pics

Volcanism

The main draw of Guatemalan tourism is the active volcanoes in the region. For a volcano to be active, it must have erupted sometime in the last 600 (???) years. But Fuego, the prominent volcano in the region, is very active – every 15 minutes or so! Over the last twenty years there are plenty of accounts of large eruptions destroying homes, farms, and roads. We had read articles warning of the dangers of “volcano tourism” so we were on the lookout, but never observed any shady behavior like climbing on an active volcano or sacrificing human hearts to Mayan dieities. We did feast on steamed marshmallows which were heated by the rocks around a volcano called Pacaya. You could easily burn your hands reaching into the steam openings in the rocks, and of course you can fall and die on a volcano just like you can fall and die on a mountain or a kitchen counter or well oiled karaoke stage.

If BJR ever wins a prize for nature photography, it won’t be from this photo.

“Old City”

Antigua translates loosely as antiquity, and the stone made streets make you feel ancient after just a couple of blocks of bouncing along their uneven, jolting surfaces. While the city is entirely a tourist destination, there are hints of normal Guatemalan life in the markets and in the town square. Antigua was our home base for much of the week, in a six-bedroom hotel built to look 100 years older than it actually was.

Kim descends into a crypt in Antigua looking for the stolen mystical stones and stolen children.

Acatenango

In the Mayan language the suffix “nango” means “place of”, and is appended to all sorts of names, like the Volcano Acatenango, which means “walled place. There is even a nearby “Hobbitenango” where none of the LOTR/Hobbit movies were filmed. We didn’t visit.

The main event of the week was going to be sleeping on the slide of Acatenango, which has a clear view of Fuego, the aforementioned active volcano. The hike up was four hours of steep ascent, littered with lots of much, much younger western tourists. It felt pretty good to be twice as old as the rest of the hikers and holding my own.

We slept – or rather attempted to sleep – in a tent furnished with two cots and white Christmas lights. I’d much rather have a thermarest than try to squeeze my boney frame into a wooden rectangle too narrow for fetal-positioned sleep. It was cold, and Kim’s sleeping bag (provided by the tour company) wasn’t rated for the temperature.

“Base Camp”, where we “slept” before our summit attempt the next morning (The success rate of summitting Acatenango is 100%)

At 4 AM we emerged, half-asleep and starting the hike to the summit. Despite asking explicitly about everything we needed to bring, the need for a head lamp was left out by our guide, and so we had to share one among the three of us, our guide flicking the light back and forth between us. After just 100m of hiking, I was in trouble. I felt ill, mostly from dizziness and what seemed like vertigo, where a small turn of my head caused the world to spin. I had to stop several times, feeling like I was about to fall over. I did not want to continue, but Kim force fed me snacks, hoping it was just a blood sugar issue.

Kim’s four-packs-a-day habit is something she needs to reconsider

When I was just about to give up and insist that I turn back, I stepped away from our guide, and tried a few steps forward, and the dizziness faded. I moved quickly away from the guide, and felt even better. Not having the back and forth of the light immediately improved my balance, and all feelings of vertigo disappeared. I took off (not terribly smart) so happy to be able to move, wanting to move faster and faster. We reached the summit in no time.

Every 15 minutes Fuego shows off it’s stuff. Yeah, yeah, we get it. You’re hot. stuff. You’re explosive.

The lava being thrown out of Fuego, combined with the sunrise, was a great thing, though sharing it with 200 twenty-somethings cranking out selfies took a little away from the experience.

Crater-formed Lake

Lake Atitlan spans over 100 square kilometers and is formed from a volcanic crater, and according to our guide, has no inbound or outbound flow. As a result the volcanic minerals don’t make it safe to drink. Now largely a tourist destination, the small towns that encircle the lake are amazing, sitting on the steep slopes of the surrounding volcanos.

Lake Atitlan, a massive crater lake, is gorgeous in the morning, and then nasty in the evening, just like most residents of Louisiana.

An hour of kayaking on the still lake was my favourite hour of the trip. Kim proved an exceptional co-pilot in a double (a.k.a “divorce kayak”), and we had an hour of cycling around the lake before rain stopped our journey. The lake has the full spectrum of hostels and hotels, from one named “Free Cerveza” to the “Casa Del Mundo” where we stayed. Again, the predominant trade here is tourism.

Not a pram in sight

Kim gets a lesson in native weaving from a woman who works in a collective of independent textile weavers. Kim has decided to remain in the medical device industry.

Kim noticed something quite wonderful about all the families we saw: no one used any kind of device to carry their children. They just carry their kids. No prams, no strollers, no baby harnesses, no onsies with wheels on it so you can just drag your kid around (patent pending). And that also means that once the kid can walk, they start walking everywhere. Kids don’t cry out “Carry me!” to their parents, they walk, and not short distances.

A leash is a rare thing

This dog’s PR agent tried to prevent us from taking a photo.

Dogs in Guatemala are everywhere. Sadly they are legions of furry (but generally well behaved) scavengers who get fed extra marshmallows by tour guides and by the occassional Colorado-born Austraian resident – who kept sneaking tidbits when her partner was not looking. At the top of Acatenango at 5 AM, there were dogs curled up around each other for warmth. While the view is spectacular, I’m still not sure why our canine friends would choose such an inhospitable place to hang out.

Turismo

Our guide. Jossias, on our way to Acatenango. He was very happy when we said goobye to him.

Wages are still single digits of dollars per day for the average Guatemalan, so tourism brings in a lot of foreign dollars. The negative effects of American influence are everywhere – despite a region rich in agrilculture, bags of potato chips, plastic packages of cookies, and sugary drinks fill the markets in every small town.

In a recent census, only 5% of Guatemala are over the age of 65. Life is not easy for most Guatemalans, and it doesn’t feel great to be headed off for a hike as you see a 70 year old man carrying a heavy bundle to market. My sister and my cousin Tim and many others have done mission trips to Guatemala and other Central American countries, and while I will continue to hike wherever I can, I hope to keep finding less touristy and more authentic experiences in nature.

Gracias a todos quien nos ayudaron durante nuestra viaje.

Translation: I am ending this blog post with some Spanish to show off.

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Bryan J. Rollins
Bryan J. Rollins

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